A long walk with my shadow: a modern rite of passage story

Written By Justin Perkins

by Justin Perkins

Dedicated to Kristian Russell... may he rest in peace.

Summary:
This is a story about wilderness, brotherhood, courage, the raw, inner work of being a leader, and the lifelong practice of making peace with parts of yourself you've ignored. It documents the rite-of-passage process and the struggle of staying present with yourself when every instinct in your nervous system tells you to hide your emotions. If you’ve ever wrestled with belonging, impostor syndrome, thinking you need to perform to impress people, the feeling that you’re somehow on the outside looking in, I hope you’ll find something of yourself in this intimate journey.

To celebrate turning fifty, I traveled to South Africa expecting nothing more than an unforgettable 100-kilometer wilderness trek with author Boyd Varty and friends along the Wild Coast. Instead, I found myself in the middle of a modern rite of passage that challenged a story I’d been carrying for decades.

As the journey unfolded through shadow work, intimate conversations, and a powerful ceremony inside a cave, I came face-to-face with an old identity built around feeling like an outsider. What emerged wasn’t a dramatic transformation or a neat ending, but something more enduring: the realization that the barriers separating us from others are often the ones we’ve unconsciously built ourselves.

In this episode, I share the inner journey and arc of what a modern rite of passage can be like, and what happened when I stopped trying to overcome my shadow and began learning how to walk beside it instead.

We explore:

  • How modern leaders can deeply benefit from rites of passage and inner work

  • The subtle ways shame and old identities shape our relationships

  • What shadow work looks like beyond the psychology books and practiced somatically through immersion in nature

  • The unexpected freedom that comes from allowing difficult emotions, and desensitizing yourself to them, rather than suppressing them

  • How vulnerability can become a place of strength, deepening connection rather than diminishing it

  • What this experience shifted and reinforced in my life, and how it directly impacted the way I coach founders and executives

Listen to The Possibilist Podcast (PSSBLST) here, or on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or SnipD.

Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/episode/72Q4sOPSmeOVhwanbaykVi?si=fxyM-lz4TimUZ9aGaOkthw



To find more stories like this and learn more about coaching opportunities for Founders, visit: newedgecoaching.com and check out the blog and podcast links.

To apply for adventurous wilderness rite of passage coaching experiences for Founders: foundersoasis.life

Credits:
Written, Recorded and Produced by Justin Perkins, ©2006 Justin Perkins, New Edge Coaching GmbH, St. Blasien, Germany and Founders Oasis

Music written and recorded by Justin Perkins (Except for: African Theme 1 by Sonican, African Theme 2 by SigmaMusicArt)

Soundscapes by Justin Perkins (except for crashing wave sound by Dragon Studio)

Justin Perkins